Faith is such an ambiguous term. Although it supposedly means "complete trust in something or someone", I find the word "complete" in this context very challenging. Everyone's faith is very different. My faith is every evolving. Does this make it incomplete? And because I have great challenges in trusting people, does this indicate a lack of faith?
I am currently reading Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson. It was given to me by a neighbor who knew I was searching for something. The book is a 40 day prayer challenge written very simply. I like the idea of simple but not so much the idea of "take this once a day and everything will change" mentality. But this one has been a life changer.
I began the book with the idea just to read and highlight, maybe gain some focus that might help me pray. I admit to being a horrible pray-er. I forget until the situation is urgent or I am in a season of busy-ness. I am better at praying for others than myself. I feel at a loss as to what to ask for or pray about. But day one I began with an open heart, believing the author's words " when you pray to God regularly, irregular things happen on a more regular basis." Here were the rules:
Don't try to manufacture your own miracles.
Don't try to answer your own prayers.
Don't try to do God's job for Him.
Stay humble. Stay patient. Stay focused.
My circle began as a quest to know what to circle. I prayed to know what to pray for. It seemed ridiculous. But the answer became clear as I worked with it. I have three main prayers:
I am praying for clarity of purpose and life path.
I am praying for a tribe of good people to surround me in prayer and support.
I am praying for passion, gratitude and joy on my journey.
I am only at the beginning of this circle. But I have had an interesting week or so with this journey. During the week I have had several people enter or re-enter my life that I knew were meant to be part of my circle, my tribe. And I had the courage to tell them so. And all (ALL!) of them responded in the affimative, agreeing to be part of my tribe. I feel humbled. I feel frightened. I feel gratitude. I feel energized. I feel heard. And I feel capable of greater things than when I began the journey.